HAVE YOU EVER FELT LIKE THE ASSISTANT THAT MAKES NO MONEY?

I have to talk about this because lately I have been hearing my friends say that they all feel like the assistant that has a job but doesn't get paid for it. I feel like that sometimes too.

If you are wondering what I mean here is an example. 7:45 am take older daughter to school on the bus with other baby hanging of the stupid baby carrier, holding the folded stroller and the school backpack that the older daughter doesn't want to carry. and to top it off with sprinkles ( like my daughter would say) an umbrella. The only day I cant find a damn sitter it rains. This city is a nightmare with a baby when it rains.  I couldn't get the nanny to come in early that day so I had to take baby with me. In my bag the changing stuff, diapers, wipes a bottle, baby food,  you name it and all of the stuff I have to take to kinkos make a copy and fax to some guy I don't even know and then go to the bank and deposit a check, and then go to the super market because hubby cant live a day without his diet coke.  After all of this its already noon and I am pooped!
This is when I feel like I dont get paid well enough for this fulltime job. Because I suddenly get a call from hubby asking me some stupid question like... did you buy granola? and when I say no because you dont ever ask me for granola he says... tatatataaaaaaaaa

" what have you been doing all day"?

scenario one... hang up the phone and not answer texts or calls and just say it fell in a puddle and died.

scenario two... say whatever..( which in girl language means screw you) and then hang up the phone.

scenario three... say why don't you stop by the supermarket and choose the one you want because every time I choose you don't like something about it.

hahaha guess which one went down. Scenario two. I just can't stop myself from answering back!

I am a true believer in not swearing at each other because once you start there is no going back it just gets worse. Do I get paid for this job??? not really at least not in currency.  But I just wish we would be able to just not have them as the annoying boss who thinks you have been sitting at home picking your nose and looking at the ceiling doing nothing. Because that is when fire goes through my veins. When I am belittled. I don't sleep well, ever, even if the kids sleep through the night, I am always on call. So basically I am doing this job 24/7 no vacation no holidays off. give me a pager and punch me in the face!

I think again
I do not get paid enough to do this job.
whatever.

PICK UP AFTER YOURSELF

For this one instance of the day my older daughter is at school and the newest addition who is now two months is sleeping a long two hour nap. This house is a dream at this time. I get to sit down and have a cup of coffee, maybe take a peak at the Today show and write. I also use this time to pick up the mess from the am rush to school. Breakfast plate, that water cup the ended up under the bed, toothpaste all over the sink and some sticky stuff that I am still trying to figure out.

Sometimes I wish that this silence would last more than two hours. Also sometimes to be honest I

Most moms I know, the ones with help and the ones without always complain about their husbands mess. When I walk into the house and I hear the shower running and see at first glance my husbands sweater and jacket on the chair of the dining room and one on the stroller, this is followed by his pants on the floor, two socks a bit farther in and finally his underwear and the bathroom door shut. I would describe it as a path to the bathroom.  Kind of  " follow the yellow brick road"

Have you ever bitched about having to pick up after him? I have for sure almost everyday actually. It bothers me so much that sometimes I feel my blood bubbling inside my body about to scream and make a fight out of it. For some reason this fight is not worth the time, because he will simply never change.

In the spectrum of things this issue is one of the smaller ones. But I am a clean freak and it has become a very important thing to discuss. And he hates when I do it. He says that he has been working 12 hours straight and hates coming home to his wife bitching about his mess. Why can't he just take his clothes off and throw it in that huge basket I put in the closet, why wont he respect that it bothers me so much. Why does he think working long hours entitles him to being a mess every day at home.

So what to do ?

This is what I did and it partially worked. I just stopped picking up his clothes for two days and just left them wherever he threw them. I told my nanny not to pick them up either and to clean around the mess. By the third day he asked where his favorite jeans were. " I said maybe in one of those piles of clothes you left on the floor. Voila! there!!!! in a small but sure way he realized that if he just hung his pants to begin with he wouldn't have to scramble to find them. Since then he has been better about it.

In a relationship: " when is it OK to bitch about having to pick up after your man like another one of your kids?"

MANI PEDI AND SOUL CYCLING

Are you one of those  that always swore you would NOT let yourself go and look like shit when you had kids?

I was...

When I got married I used to wear heals to every place I went. Even to the dentist. I would always have my hair perfectly brushed, make up on and always have touch up gloss and lipstick in my purse. My manicures and pedicures were schedule weekly. I NEVER  had  hair popping out all over the place. I kept myself waxed perfectly brazilian and loved it. Everything was always in order. Waxing was a must in every possible part. I wore pretty clothes all the time and made it a rule to follow the fashion world and style magazine to keep up to date with what was in and what was out.

I got pregnant and still kept everything clean, especially close to my due date because I thought I had to look good for delivery. I even packed a descent bag for the hospital and did not forget makeup and brush and a nice robe for when visitors came to see the baby. The first month we had a baby nurse, I thought I could keep myself looking great. The problem was ... no one, and I say NO ONE told me about the episiotomy. I spent 6 weeks where I couldn't sit on my ass because of the carnage they had left down there. The woman who sewed me up, that other Dr in the practice that you see maybe once through out your whole pregnancy, arrived 45 minutes late to the delivery and totally destroyed the little bit of dignity I had in me at the time she sewed me up.

Sitting on a blowup donut for six weeks was not the greatest thing.  This mixed up with constipation that hurt like a mother, and my boobs engorging every two hours, it is a recipe for feeling really sorry for yourself.

5 years and two kids later I am starting to go back to that moment where I promised myself I would at least get pedicures and manicures every certain number of days, dress accordingly to the trends and try once in a while to wear sexy heals. Flats have become my best friend. I am very happy that those have not gone out of style yet. As you grow older and become a parent of two there is a war between letting yourself go back and keeping yourself looking good.

 Take arms my friends and don't feel sorry for yourself!!!!!!

Get up and say "I will try to at least wear some makeup when I leave the house! baby steps, baby steps.... next try thinking about wearing colors that match, and then the week later try looking for two seconds at the trends in fashion. I promise in a month your hubby will be the first to tell you...

You look great babes...

This is what I do.
I wake up earlier than both kids, 6:30 am, I go to the bathroom and put makeup on and earrings.
I try to think in advance the night before what I want to wear the next day.
Get a subscription to people style watch magazine on my ipad.
Schedule mani's and pedi's at least once every two weeks.
Exercise.
Choose one night every week to go out on a date with my husband, and make sure I look sexy even if I feel like crap.

I ran into someone the other day that was one of these moms. She said to me that she promised to keep up with her apperances and take care of herself. Get manis and pedis, highlights and haircuts, but now she just finds herself running after three kids and having no time for breathing. She goes to soul cycle three times a week and calls it therapy.